Alienation

The sun arrived 
Or at least i thought and mostly believed he had. 

But time to time the clouds cover the light, 
The energy goes off instantly 
and i feel in myself again. 
Tearing the lungs, 
creating lagoons around the eyes 
while relief settles as a lying body, 
that ends anxiety to be confronted with reality. 

The anxiety how makes me smile in the day 
is the same lie how is shouting down 
along with my ability to feel all the apathy nights. 

I see light and want sun at all cost, 
but i'm a storm inside. 
I speak like i'm brave and i don´t have fears, 
but insecurity runs through my veins like blood. 
I'm transperant (sometimes too much), 
yet no one sees how much my brain screams. 

It's so loud... 
louder and louder, 
even louder every minute i think. 

And the sun returns again to warm the naked soul, 
then... 
fades away til winter crash the gold. 
The cycle never ends, 
it just increases in the between 
so we live learning how to live ourselves in the middle of the madness.